Subject: Re: Hi
Date: 10/18/00 1:11 PM
From: Elizabeth Pfeiffer,
lizzie@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
On 10/18/00 10:14 AM Mari wrote:
>Whatcha doin today?
Well, not a whole lot. Yesterday (drum roll, presaging dramatic and harrowing narrative), I say yesterday Isabel was being chased by a dog. Well that is not a very good state of affairs for a cat of 18 years (that makes her about 90 in human terms, according to a little flyer at the vet). The dog was definitely not managing its energy well at all. Unfortunately that was catching! Deborah heard the fracas on the porch and dashed out to stop it. Isabel had escaped up the driveway, with the dog in hot pursuit.
to be continued...
love love love,
Lizzie
PS: Sorry, I *had* to do it!!!
PPS: please reply to this email for the next installment of the thrilling adventures of Isabel and Deborah, entitled "Big Kitty, Little Kitty, and the Despicable Dog". Or to be taken off this list, just send an email with no subject and a message of "I don't give a freakin' shit about the dog!" to reallyIdont@hydrene.com
Subject: "I don't
give a freakin' shit about the dog"!
Date: 10/18/00 1:37
PM
Received: 10/18/00 2:16 PM
From: Mari
To:
reallyIdont@hydrene.com
Just kidding! I couldn't resist!
I am dying to here the end of the saga!
Did Deborah the "mean" cat save Isabel the "old" cat and neuter
the
"despicable" dog??????
Subject: Big Kitty, Little
Kitty, and the Despicable Dog
Date: 10/18/00 2:29 PM
From: Elizabeth Pfeiffer,
lizzie@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
HERE IT IS!
The message you have been waiting for. We know that you have been patiently waiting for this exciting installment in The Adventures of Isabel and Deborah. And here it is. Unlike some email and web serials, Lizziebear's Lowbrow eProductions (LLeP) delivers what they promise! So on to the action...
* * * * *
EPISODE III: The Aftermath
* * * * *
Once Isabel was safe, Deborah knew right away that she was going to have to make some changes in her upcoming schedule. So she called the school to find out what to do. The receptionist didn't really know that much about it, which was a bit aggravating, but Deborah wound up with the right information.
That meant she had to call each of her
clients and *cancel* the appointments with them for the following
day. Which was quite ironic as she had only just called to confirm
those same appointments a few minutes before the whole doggy debacle
had debuted! Not to mention scanning her calendar and noting with
satisfaction that her practice hour requirement was pretty muc8/00
1:37 PM
Received: 10/18/00 2:16 PM
From: Mari Claramonte,
claramonte@kentwl.com
To: Elizabeth
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Subject:
Subscription Status
Date: 10/18/00 2:35 PM
From: LLeP, llep@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
This message is to inform you that your subscription to The Adventures of Isabel and Deborah has been canceled at your request. If this notice is in error, please send an email explaining the problem to the publisher at llep@hydrene.com (Lizzie's Lowbrow eProductions) with the subject "Stop fucking up you retarded dimwits".
We hope that you are not dissatisfied in any way with LLeP or The Adventures of Isabel and Deborah. PLease let us know if we can be of service to you in the future. We offer a broad and varied line of email entertainments.
Cordially yours,
Liz Pfeiffer, Editor-in-chief and CEO, LLeP
On 10/18/00 1:37 PM Mari Claramonte wrote:
>Just kidding! I couldn't
resist! I am dying to here the end of the saga!
>Did Deborah the "mean" cat save Isabel the "old" cat and neuter
the
>"despicable" dog??????
Subject: Apology
Date: 10/18/00 2:42 PM
From: Elizabeth Pfeiffer,
lizzie@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
We at LLeP (Lizzie's Lowbrow eProductions) wish to offer our sincere apologies to all our subscribers for the recent error in the eSerial "The Adventures of Isabel and Candy". We pride ourselves on delivering what we promise, and we promise on-time on-target e-entertainment of the highest caliber. However, due to server difficulties, our eSerial "The Adventures of Harriet and Deborah" was delivered out of order, with Episode III: The Aftermath being skipped. We are rectifying the situation with all due effort, and we assure our devoted readers that they will receive the correct installment post-haste. We hope that this does not damage the credibility of LLeP and your satisfaction with our service.
Sincerely,
Liz Pfeiffer, Editor-in-chieff and CEO, LLeP
Subject: RE: Big
Kitty, Little Kitty, and the Despicable Dog
Date: 10/18/00 2:46 PM
Received: 10/18/00 2:43 PM
From: Mari
To:
Elizabeth Pfeiffer, lizzie@hydrene.com
Alright...whats the big idea???? are you
trying to torture me???? scroll
down to your message and see what you sent me!!! I will be
waiting...patiently for the rest and by the way...espisode III????
what the
hell happend to espisode II????
Mari
Subject: RE:
Apology
Date: 10/18/00 2:50 PM
Received: 10/18/00 3:14 PM
From: Mari
To:
Elizabeth Pfeiffer, lizzie@hydrene.com
Just get it fucking right and get it over to
me quick before i have a cat,
dog, deborah meltdown!!!!!!!
Waiting patiently and forever yours,
Mari
Subject: RE: Big
Kitty, Little Kitty, and the Despicable Dog
Date: 10/18/00 2:46 PM
From: Elizabeth Pfeiffer,
lizzie@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
I'm so sorry, we had to hire a temp for the day, and we will probably be digging ourselves out from the mess for two more days! I'll see that the staff gets you the proper episode right away.
Regards,
Lizzie
Lesson for the day - do not give a new temp the CEO's duties and email
On 10/18/00 2:46 PM Mari wrote:
>Alright...whats the big idea???? are you
trying to torture me???? scroll
>down to your message and see what you sent me!!! I will
be
>waiting...patiently for the rest and by the way...espisode
III???? what the
>hell happend to espisode II????
>
>Mari
Subject: The
Aftermath, oops I mean Big Kitty, Little Kitty, blah blah blah
Date: 10/18/00 3:13 PM
From: Elizabeth Pfeiffer,
lizzie@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
Well, the dog had Isabel up a tree in the back yard, barking and jumping at her. Deborah chased the dog away. And here is the bad part of the story (hear the foreboding music swell up?).. she was really furious and wanted to kick the dog or something, so she chased it back up the driveway (growling at it all the way (I kid you not)). She was running very fast and she slipped on the moss and fell. She scraped her knee, and shredded the palm of her right hand (and mine, dammit). So now we have a patch of no skin (TM) in the middle of the heel of our hand. So massage is right out. Hence the canceling of massage appointments for today (remember that this happened yesterday).
The dog ran off, and Deborah got Isabel out of the tree. Isabel has lost two toenails on one foot (vet says probably from running up the tree frantically) and has a hurt paw from that. So the real lesson is not about hiring temps and giving them too much power (besides that was a lie), it is about not being satisfied with rescuing Isabel, but wanting revenge and suffering for the dog and getting hurt because of it.
So all of that is to explain that we are not doing a whole heck of a lot today. It would have been a student clinic for Deborah but she had to cancel it (she felt bad for the people who were expecting to get a massage). And I can't do that much in this condition. Typing is okay, but I can't clean or carry heavy stuff around. And Ginger can't play any music. So we are convalescing with Isabel inside (and wishing I had some chocolate cake or something).
On 10/18/00 1:37 PM Mari wrote:
>I'll be waiting patiently to hear about the dog, the cat and Deborah.
Well, that is what we at Lizzie's Lowbrow eProductions love about our subscribers. Their devotion and patience. Here are some examples of their forebearance and goodwill:
On 10/18/00 2:46 PM Mari wrote:
>Alright...whats the big idea???? are you
trying to torture me???? scroll
>down to your message and see what you sent me!!! I will
be
>waiting...patiently for the rest and by the way...espisode
III???? what the
>hell happend to espisode II????
On 10/18/00 2:50 PM Mari wrote:
>Just get it fucking right and get it
over to me quick before i have a cat,
>dog, deborah meltdown!!!!!!!
Well I hope that was all suitably entertaining. After all that is what we at LLeP (ooooh I forgot to work the Gemini Moon bit into that company name and mission statement somehow) strive for. Hmm how about this:
Lizzie's Lowbrow eProductions - We bring some Gemini sparkle from the Moon to your inbox.
Snort.
love love love,
Lizzie
Subject: RE: Big
Kitty
Date: 10/20/00 1:16 PM
From: Elizabeth Pfeiffer,
lizzie@hydrene.com
To:
Mari
On 10/19/00 3:08 PM Mari wrote:
>I'm such a retard!!! I still have it, i will print it so he can read it.
Ooooooo, I'm going to be published!!!!!!!!! Squeeeeeall !!!!!!
By Retard Publishing, Inc!!!!
love love love,
Lizzieboop